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Frances Leader's avatar

No amount of comforting by others ever touched my pain. Time was the cure.

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SCA's avatar

I think some concepts are difficult to accurately frame in human language. No one can share one's pain; scar-building is a solitary job. But I've always found that having trusted people who will listen to what I say about my own pain, to allow the steam to escape the pressure cooker, helps me to find the inner strength--or grow it--to deal with it, and to see the situation more clearly.

The tide moving the little boat always keeps moving. Eventually you get to another place, though at the start it seems impossible. People telling me I'll get there, even if it seems impossible in the moment, has been a useful ballast.

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Frances Leader's avatar

You are fortunate. My experience has been much less positive. My closest friend and my mother both encouraged me to think in a far more shallow way than I would ever consider. They did not like it when I pointed this out.

Friends desert the sinking ship and moving on from a harm becomes a solitary road to a new life.

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SCA's avatar

I'm sorry to know that. I haven't received comfort from the people one would naturally hope to receive it, but I've been very truly blessed that someone always came along, even if temporarily, when I was in most need.

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Frances Leader's avatar

Don't be sorry! I am not. I found out who was my friend, really quickly! I cleared the decks and sailed off to new horizons which gave me adventures way beyond anything I had achieved before! I had two dogs and a cat for company. Finding a life style which better suited them also gave me better health.

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Amy Sukwan's avatar

I have difficulty asking for help even when I need it

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BHerr's avatar

Why is that?

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Amy Sukwan's avatar

Perhaps a fear of being rejected, an independent I can take care of myself attitude, some trauma somewhere. It's something for me to ponder...

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SomeDude's avatar

People on high horses go on about the need to leave one's comfort zone, but that has rarely been of more benefit to me than staying comfortable.

Comfort is one of my most favorite first world privileges. Personal development is only high on my list where it Venn diagram overlaps useful skill development.

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