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Ian in Vancouver's avatar

This is SO deep and thoughtful. I was VERY fortunate to have a family (parents and grandparents) who exhibited unconditional love to me on a daily basis during my formative years, YET, still I have deep emotional needs (as we all do). I have met many people (most - maybe 90%) who have had NO parent/grandparent in their formative years who exhibited unconditional love for them. Almost ALL of those people are so deeply wounded that they do not know how to love others. I am very sad for them. They have a DEEP NEED to forgive their parents for not loving them, but the only thing that they can muster is anger/resentment or hatred for their parents. They carry it for their whole lives. I have only met ONE PERSON who despite being very badly neglected and even badly abused had demonstrated love generously to most of the people around her. She is a good friend. I would marry her in a heartbeat if she wanted me! I am happy with her friendship though.

The act of forgiveness is SO IMPORTANT to those who have hurt us. To forgive thoroughly and deeply is such an act of Love that it can and does heal many (or most) of the wounds that have been inflicted upon us. It can and does rebuild friendships and sometimes even romantic relationships with those who have hurt us deeply. I believe that in the end the only really certain way to forgive this deeply (not to forget but to actively and deeply forgive), is to ask God for His help in this act. He forgives us for our hurts to others and we have to learn to forgive others for their hurts to us. THere is something fundamental in the human soul that does NOT allow us to accept God's forgiveness (at a deep level) IF we do not forgive others for their hurts to us. ("Forgive us our trespasses AS we forgive those who trespass against US.") Is not simply an empty prayer but the most fundamental truth of our need to heal us and heal others in this world. It is an act of Love (one of the fundamental principles of love is to forgive without reservation). We are in the this world to Love - that is our core purpose. We cannot love if we do not forgive. We have ALL been given at least some measure of Free Will. Without Free Will there is NO love (no real love - the sacrificial/giving Agape kind of Love). If a deeply deranged individual comes up to you and points loaded gun at your head and insists that you love him - you will likely tell him that you do love him - but it would probably be a lie because there was no free will involved. Love and Free Will are like colours and light. Without light there is no colour. WIthout Free Will, there is no Love. Forgiveness is part of that Love and the more we have been hurt by someone the more important it is that we forgive them. This act of Love for our enemy is the only thing that can truly free us from the bonds of our hurt and hatred. It is why we exist - to Love (and be loved). That is why we were created: "Out of Love (of God), and for Love (for others)"

May you experience Love this day and may be loved in return (certainly by God).

Ian in Vancouver

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Ray's avatar

A relevant topic for me atm, I shall watch it later ty

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