Very excited to find out about your alter-ego stack! I’ve been adrift in basically a friendless zone since October of 2919 when for a variety of reason my husband decided we needed to move out of our home state of CA and relocate to SC. And then came COVID. It’s not been easy or fun trying to figure out this last phase of our life. I’m a very social person and miss the friends that I’d known for decades. We text or talk as often as we can, but its not a substitute for IRL. Substacks like yours has been my saving grace. Not only keeping me aware the perils of our reset times and engaging my brain, but also, and maybe most importantly, being able to connect regularly through the comments with other humans that aren’t my family.
I’m excited to learn about what you’ve been exploring. Thank you in advance. 🙏🏻
NanaW, you're from the future?! 2919??? We have much to talk about 😂
No, that breaks my heart for you. First, I love CA and hate what's happening there. It could be such a wonderful place, and if it wasn't for the psychosis everywhere out there, I'd probably have moved TO there at some point.
SC is also a wonderful place. I was down in Myrtle this summer while vacationing up in Sunset Beach, NC. I love the Carolinas. However, regardless of where you go, if you're alone, being alone is the worst, and that's exactly what we talk about in our podcast.
I would love for you to be part of that community and hope that we can make you feel somewhat welcome and connected as much as possible, and I hope that our topics can make you feel a little bit less alone.
Would you be interested in being a virtual guest on an upcoming episode? We can figure out what the subject matter would be, but initially I'd love you to come on and hear you expand on the story you just told, about moving, being disconnected, etc. If you're interested, let me know and I'll get in touch with you via email.
Hahahahahaha! This made me laugh so hard I’m not even going to use the edit button (typically my best friend) to correct my timeline.
I’m touched and honored that you’d be interested in talking to me on your podcast. At this moment though I would have to decline, simply because the sense of aloneness is so strong deep down in my core, that if I even think about it, as I’m doing typing my response here, my feelings overwhelm me so much I start crying. If I’m able to someday achieve a better balance between my innate happiness and my situational sorrow, (kind of weird, but true) I would love to talk with you in future. I’m definitely going to be listening to your podcast.
It’s okay my dear. I only stay that way for brief moments in time. There is much to be grateful for in my life, and I try to focus on the good. But I really appreciate your gentle and empathetic heart. May you receive the kindness you’ve shown back a thousandfold.
Here's a thought, free of charge (as in you get what you pay for ;) ) - You can only be alone, as in feeling alone, when among other humans.
Being physically alone when there are no other humans present, like when hiking outside trails f.e. isn't the same feeling as sitting in the faculty lounge and realising that your own ability to think (not IQ or intelligence, just a propensity and habit of thinking things through using their own internally consistent logic, and to the end no matter how absurd) puts you outside of the social group, since being in a group that only exists for its own social sake means not thinking things through, going on instinct and emotion rahter than intellect, and where fitting in by everyone practicing same-ness is how to be.
Feeling alone, alienated, atomised, and so on leads to being ostracised since the groups around you picks up on the otherness you radiate, and once one group/leader shows others you are acceptable target for shunning or even bullying the process is autmatic and everything you do will be interpreted in a pre-judging framework of interpretation, creating a recursive loop of confirmation bias that whatever the treatnet you receive, you've earned it.
I've seen it so many times at work (teacher) when neither kids nor adults can explain their behaviour against certain kids - it's an automatic process I think, same as with chickens when one of them gets pecked by all others and the hens just watch. People studying bullying have noticed that victims display a certain set of behaviours and characteristics which seem to trigger something in those with a personality of the bully-ish type, though how that information was received by the teaching profession, I'm sure you can imagine.
Just throwing this in the ring so to speak - lonelyness can of course also be approached from the sociological angle, where it was called 'anomie' among other terms back when I was a student.
I think some persons utilise the feeling of lonelyness as a defence, because they perceive belonging to a group as losing their sense of self and as the alternative to feeling belonging is feeling alone/estrangement they trap themselves in a cycle of trying to belong, feeling the loss of control mixed with the intoxication of being part of the pack, and upcomes the defence-feelings - often displayed as arrogance and aloofness.
Of course, having worked alot with "aspies" on the high end of the intelligence scale I'm biased in my perceptions somy sample group is perhaps not the go-to normal one.
I love the idea of a topic about those who don't have a problem not conforming to societies expectations or abiding by hierarchies. I sure don't fit in and in many ways actively work to stay out of those constructs. It does often leave me feeling alone.
Much of the reason I'm on Substack is because I needed an outlet to express my feelings, even if it was only to myself. Writing helps me to fight that. In the process, it's amazed me how many people really are like myself in many ways, and in that, I've found a satisfaction to that sense of being alone.
I will also say, I'm completely content to think how I think and believe what I believe even if no one joins me and accept the responsibility and consequences of thinking differently than the "herd". I kind of wear it as a badge of honor.
Anyway, really great input, and I'll be bringing this up with my guys as subject matter for a future episode.
Last, would you have any interest in discussing off channel about being a guest on a future episode?
I'm honoured you ask, though I'm completely ignorant as to how the technological aspect would work - I use computers strictly for reading/writing and the phone for textmessages and phonecalls. I don't use e-mail; only reason I have an e-mail adress is because some sites require it for participation. No Bank-Id (swedish electronic Id), no credit cards, no e-money using the phone - not for political or other reasons, just general distrust and that the technology doesn't speak to me (or I'm blind to it).
(Jeez, I sound like a date rattling off the "I need to wash my hair that night"-excuse...)
Tell you what, I'll ask my son what and how one would go about it - as in, is my old laptop up to it, is my internet connection good for it and so on.
What you describe here "...I'm completely content to think how I think and believe what I believe..." is as far as I as a layman understand is what is meant by metacognition, though the term is sometimes contested since there's no hard metric for it. That said, here in sweden there is a very real, very strong taboo and stigma concerning differences in intelligence both when it comes to quantative and qualitative aspects, on group and individual levels.
And anything I put in a comment, feel free to use it if it has value!
Very excited to find out about your alter-ego stack! I’ve been adrift in basically a friendless zone since October of 2919 when for a variety of reason my husband decided we needed to move out of our home state of CA and relocate to SC. And then came COVID. It’s not been easy or fun trying to figure out this last phase of our life. I’m a very social person and miss the friends that I’d known for decades. We text or talk as often as we can, but its not a substitute for IRL. Substacks like yours has been my saving grace. Not only keeping me aware the perils of our reset times and engaging my brain, but also, and maybe most importantly, being able to connect regularly through the comments with other humans that aren’t my family.
I’m excited to learn about what you’ve been exploring. Thank you in advance. 🙏🏻
NanaW, you're from the future?! 2919??? We have much to talk about 😂
No, that breaks my heart for you. First, I love CA and hate what's happening there. It could be such a wonderful place, and if it wasn't for the psychosis everywhere out there, I'd probably have moved TO there at some point.
SC is also a wonderful place. I was down in Myrtle this summer while vacationing up in Sunset Beach, NC. I love the Carolinas. However, regardless of where you go, if you're alone, being alone is the worst, and that's exactly what we talk about in our podcast.
I would love for you to be part of that community and hope that we can make you feel somewhat welcome and connected as much as possible, and I hope that our topics can make you feel a little bit less alone.
Would you be interested in being a virtual guest on an upcoming episode? We can figure out what the subject matter would be, but initially I'd love you to come on and hear you expand on the story you just told, about moving, being disconnected, etc. If you're interested, let me know and I'll get in touch with you via email.
Hahahahahaha! This made me laugh so hard I’m not even going to use the edit button (typically my best friend) to correct my timeline.
I’m touched and honored that you’d be interested in talking to me on your podcast. At this moment though I would have to decline, simply because the sense of aloneness is so strong deep down in my core, that if I even think about it, as I’m doing typing my response here, my feelings overwhelm me so much I start crying. If I’m able to someday achieve a better balance between my innate happiness and my situational sorrow, (kind of weird, but true) I would love to talk with you in future. I’m definitely going to be listening to your podcast.
Awesome (about leaving it open to future possibility) and you joining us at the Table. Breaks my heart to hear how alone and disconnected you feel.
It’s okay my dear. I only stay that way for brief moments in time. There is much to be grateful for in my life, and I try to focus on the good. But I really appreciate your gentle and empathetic heart. May you receive the kindness you’ve shown back a thousandfold.
Here's a thought, free of charge (as in you get what you pay for ;) ) - You can only be alone, as in feeling alone, when among other humans.
Being physically alone when there are no other humans present, like when hiking outside trails f.e. isn't the same feeling as sitting in the faculty lounge and realising that your own ability to think (not IQ or intelligence, just a propensity and habit of thinking things through using their own internally consistent logic, and to the end no matter how absurd) puts you outside of the social group, since being in a group that only exists for its own social sake means not thinking things through, going on instinct and emotion rahter than intellect, and where fitting in by everyone practicing same-ness is how to be.
Feeling alone, alienated, atomised, and so on leads to being ostracised since the groups around you picks up on the otherness you radiate, and once one group/leader shows others you are acceptable target for shunning or even bullying the process is autmatic and everything you do will be interpreted in a pre-judging framework of interpretation, creating a recursive loop of confirmation bias that whatever the treatnet you receive, you've earned it.
I've seen it so many times at work (teacher) when neither kids nor adults can explain their behaviour against certain kids - it's an automatic process I think, same as with chickens when one of them gets pecked by all others and the hens just watch. People studying bullying have noticed that victims display a certain set of behaviours and characteristics which seem to trigger something in those with a personality of the bully-ish type, though how that information was received by the teaching profession, I'm sure you can imagine.
Just throwing this in the ring so to speak - lonelyness can of course also be approached from the sociological angle, where it was called 'anomie' among other terms back when I was a student.
I think some persons utilise the feeling of lonelyness as a defence, because they perceive belonging to a group as losing their sense of self and as the alternative to feeling belonging is feeling alone/estrangement they trap themselves in a cycle of trying to belong, feeling the loss of control mixed with the intoxication of being part of the pack, and upcomes the defence-feelings - often displayed as arrogance and aloofness.
Of course, having worked alot with "aspies" on the high end of the intelligence scale I'm biased in my perceptions somy sample group is perhaps not the go-to normal one.
Amything above of any use, feel free to do so!
Thanks Rikard.
I love the idea of a topic about those who don't have a problem not conforming to societies expectations or abiding by hierarchies. I sure don't fit in and in many ways actively work to stay out of those constructs. It does often leave me feeling alone.
Much of the reason I'm on Substack is because I needed an outlet to express my feelings, even if it was only to myself. Writing helps me to fight that. In the process, it's amazed me how many people really are like myself in many ways, and in that, I've found a satisfaction to that sense of being alone.
I will also say, I'm completely content to think how I think and believe what I believe even if no one joins me and accept the responsibility and consequences of thinking differently than the "herd". I kind of wear it as a badge of honor.
Anyway, really great input, and I'll be bringing this up with my guys as subject matter for a future episode.
Last, would you have any interest in discussing off channel about being a guest on a future episode?
I'm honoured you ask, though I'm completely ignorant as to how the technological aspect would work - I use computers strictly for reading/writing and the phone for textmessages and phonecalls. I don't use e-mail; only reason I have an e-mail adress is because some sites require it for participation. No Bank-Id (swedish electronic Id), no credit cards, no e-money using the phone - not for political or other reasons, just general distrust and that the technology doesn't speak to me (or I'm blind to it).
(Jeez, I sound like a date rattling off the "I need to wash my hair that night"-excuse...)
Tell you what, I'll ask my son what and how one would go about it - as in, is my old laptop up to it, is my internet connection good for it and so on.
What you describe here "...I'm completely content to think how I think and believe what I believe..." is as far as I as a layman understand is what is meant by metacognition, though the term is sometimes contested since there's no hard metric for it. That said, here in sweden there is a very real, very strong taboo and stigma concerning differences in intelligence both when it comes to quantative and qualitative aspects, on group and individual levels.
And anything I put in a comment, feel free to use it if it has value!