(Note: Sorry for not writing recently. I’m kind of shocked it’s been over a year, honestly. I’m getting back on the horse. I’ll be taking a little different direction from Covid thoughts, although they’ll still factor in from time to time.)
Growing up, I was a bit of an outlaw. Shocker.
My habits and lifestyle lead me to get…creative…when it came to looking out for myself. I loved to party, loved a good road trip, and honestly didn’t care much for working which often left me with little to zero money. Every time I went to the ATM it was like going to a roulette wheel. “Come on, big money! Ah, bust.”
Choosing this kind of lifestyle meant I had to often live on the fringes and skirt the law. I stole. I cheated. I lied. I trespassed. I learned to get comfortable living in the shadows.
Now, I wasn’t a dirtbag, at least in my mind. I was usually happy, never vindictive, and just wanted to get along with everyone. I wanted everyone to get along with each other. I was kind of a hippy, although I would say more of a rolling stone. My vibe was sunshine, happiness, kindness, and peace, man. I kind of adopted the Robin Hood philosophy of life - take what I need for the poor of the land. And I was the poor of the land. Made sense in my mind.
Did I mention drug use? I was heavy into psychedelics, which have a way of forcing you to look at the black mirror of life, of your life. They force you to analyze who you are, what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and more. It’s far more than just seeing a wall melting or tasting what the color purple is like.
They make you increasingly sensitive to energy. If you are in tune with what they’re showing you, they create a sort of sixth-sense if you let them. I was born a very sensitive person, so from the get-go, I was very aware of other people’s emotions and intentions. I was also incredibly self-conscious, hyper-analyzing myself constantly. Psychedelics took these innate traits and inadvertently trained me in ways that I’m not sure would have happened if I hadn’t explored the cosmos with them.
They also added something to me that I’m now very thankful for - the ability to recognize patterns and insecurities in individuals and groups.
See, when I was tripping balls, I usually did it when no other sane person did. My entire senior year of high school, for instance. I would drop acid in home room, and by 5th period - Art - I was out of my head. I would do this two or three times a week, the entire year. And then on into college, art school, etc. I tripped while playing hockey, going to church, a doctor’s appointment, wherever and whenever. Oh, I had times where I did it like anyone else - concerts, long walks in the woods - but more often than not, I was around people who I had no business being around.
This meant I had to be calculating. With the help of the psychedelics, I would look down the timeline at the outcomes of my actions, like Dr. Strange, and make decisions based on what I could see and what I imagined were real possibilities. For instance, it would really suck to have a head full of acid and be put into a jail cell with some violent meth head. Working back from there, what were my best options that would lead me to avoid that scenario?
I also had to be vigilant. I was supposed to be sober, normal, and so I inadvertently trained myself to pick up on any social cue that would tip me off. This was the game I played with myself - lose my mind, in plain sight of society, and dare them to figure me out.
Sometimes, often times, I won that game. Other times, I’m pretty sure I looked like Johnny Depp in “Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas.”
All of this recognition, reflection, and social experimentation I inadvertently underwent created something in me that I now know as Hedonist Calculus. It’s an official line of thought, which you can learn more about in this video.
In short:
The Hedonic Calculus is one of the central ideas of Bentham's Act Of Utilitarianism. Created by combining hedonism, (the pursuit of pleasures and avoidance of pains) and democracy (majority rule) the hedonic calculus is used to evaluate how much pleasure or pain would be caused by an action.
This calculus consists of 7 parts:
Intensity: which is simply how intense the pleasure of an act will be.
Duration: how long the pleasure will last.
Certainty: if we can guarantee that pleasure will arise from the action.
Fecundity: whether or not the pleasure will continue to be pleasurable if the act is repeated.
Propinquity: how "far" away the pleasure is, in terms of physical space or time.
Purity: how "pure" an action can be considered to be.
Extent: how many people will be affected. To put this into an example, say we were given one million pounds, if we keep it all to ourselves the pleasure would be very intense and it would have a very long duration, but if we shared it among our family we could have the pleasure affect a greater number of people.
It is so then that the hedonic calculus is created to value the aspects of acts to consider how worthwhile or correct they are in terms of the amount of pleasure they bring and to whom.
To put my own spin on it and how I further apply that to my own life, Hedonist Calculus is the science of figuring out the consequences - intended and unintended - of our decisions and weighing our future actions in a way that most benefits us with the least repercussions. Perhaps more importantly, it’s the science of applying that outward to minimize the damage others can do to you.
From those in your inner circle to society at large, other people’s choices affect you. You’ve got to create a strategy for limiting the influence and consequences - and damage - other people’s reckless or unintentional actions can do in your life, inside your own front door. Call it a defense mechanism, Cover Your Own Ass (CYOA), Reactive Hedonist Calculus, or something else, being able to do Hedonist Calculus at a high level is a buffer between you and the madness and chaos of the world around you.
Let’s talk now about using Hedonist Calculus proactively. You probably tend to be much more prone to risk-taking and, yes, hedonism. Will getting in that fast car with that strange person end well for you? Will investing in those box seats at the arena give you the thrill of being that perceived kingpin that you’re hoping for? Does this color lipstick increase my chances of bagging a mate? These are just some examples of proactive Hedonist Calculus.
There are most definitely two sides to this coin. Just like any tool, Hedonist Calculus can be used for both good and evil. Once could argue that hedonism in and of itself is evil and therefore any pursuit to its ends is just compounding evil, but I digress.
If you like to produce results and accomplishments; create and seize opportunities; fulfill the desires of your heart; or otherwise chafe at the word “no”, then you’re probably using Hedonist Calculus more than others whether you know it or not. It can be part of your toolbox that allows you to create the lifestyle that is generous, joyful, abundant, and peaceful for yourself and those in your world.
However, it can be a deadly weapon in the hands of the narcissist, sociopath, and psychopath. By nature, these types of people are manipulative, coldly pragmatic, and even ruthless in their quest to fulfill their desires. They also tend to be quite good at doing the math that benefits them the most.
Where are you? Have you thought about life through the lens of this Calculus? If so, how has it changed your life? If not, does this make sense to you?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Also, please just drop me a comment to reconnect with me. It’s been far too long!
IT'S A BHERR SIGHTING!!!!
Hope things are well!!
"This meant I had to be calculating. With the help of the psychedelics, I would look down the timeline at the outcomes of my actions, like Dr. Strange, and make decisions based on what I could see and what I imagined were real possibilities. For instance, it would really suck to have a head full of acid and be put into a jail cell with some violent meth head. Working back from there, what were my best options that would lead me to avoid that scenario?"
This is commanding the simulation!
About time, Buster, about time. Happy New Year.
I won't comment on the piece because these days, I see an infographic, I run away screaming.
But glad to see you back.